You don’t think you want to use or drink; you feel like you want to use or drink.
Long-time sober men have developed rock-solid tools for not only staying sober but for being responsible, successful men. But we are human, and while the tools we acquired for staying sober have proved to be successful, they don’t always support the deep healing required to attain the kind of happiness that many of us search for.
Are you experiencing: anxiety, malaise, feeling stuck, indecision, less connected, angry, or a sense something is missing? Are your intimate relationships satisfying? Is doubling down on “getting back to basics” or working this or that Step working? These strategies may seem right and offer some relief, but you still feel like there should be more. You are right; there is more, and the path to finding that “more” leads to an examination of what led you to alcoholism and/or addiction in the first place.
These challenges you face are a sign that there is more profound work to do; that your present support systems and tools are not enough. You can’t outgrow the Steps, but you can apply their lessons differently. For example: bringing powerlessness, acceptance, turning it over, meditation and prayer in a deliberate fashion to the processes and methods we will use can be transformational. Bill Wilson wrote a letter to a friend about emotional sobriety, appearing in an article of the same name in the Grapevine in 1953.
He talked about how AA was not the whole answer and that others would come and show a way further in the future. A way to reach fuller emotional sobriety. Has your time come for fuller emotional sobriety?
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